


Idiocy, Bedsharing and Drinking Jonathan Toews’ Smoothies

by tillyenna



Series: 15-16 Draft GC [28]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: GC OG CREWWWW, Getting Together, M/M, Stupid Boys being Stupid, absolute disaster hockeys, bed sharing, but we love them anyway, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillyenna/pseuds/tillyenna
Summary: Someone (apologies, because I can't remember who it was) asked for the Group Chat version of Patty and TK getting together.So this is 2017, Training camp through to New Years Day 2018
Relationships: Auston Matthews/Frederik Andersen, Connor McDavid/Leon Draisaitl, Dylan Strome/Alex DeBrincat, Matthew Tkachuk/Everyone, Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick, cale makar/carter hart
Series: 15-16 Draft GC [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776370
Comments: 38
Kudos: 165





	Idiocy, Bedsharing and Drinking Jonathan Toews’ Smoothies

| 

Training Camp  
  
---|---  
  
Teeks:

| 

So, I’m not a fucking idiot ok?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Yes you are tk  
  
Teeks:

| 

Shut up, not the point. I watched the draft ok?  
  
Marns:

| 

We all watched the draft TK, you aren’t special  
  
Teeks:

| 

Still NOT THE FUCKING POINT  
  
Teeks:

| 

Point is, I knew our first round pick was a bit of a fucking rocket  
  
Teeks:

| 

But nothing  
  
Teeks:

| 

AND I MEAN NOTHING  
  
Teeks:

| 

Has prepared me for what he is like in the flesh  
  
Teeks:

| 

Jesus H Christ  
  
Teeks:

| 

My mouth fucking waters just from looking at him  
  
Chucky:

| 

Is he queer?  
  
Teeks:

| 

I DON’T KNOW, HE DOESN’T FUCKING SPEAK  
  
Stromer:

| 

Steve Patrick’s kid right?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Yeah. Nolan.  
  
Marns:

| 

Oh dude. TK knows his first name  
  
Josty:

| 

DUDE  
  
Josty:

| 

You have it baaaad  
  
Josty:

| 

Also he was on U18 with me, Howdy, Hartsy and Mikey  
  
McLeod:

| 

He’s a fucking weird one  
  
McLeod:

| 

Like, yeah, he’s pretty  
  
McLeod:

| 

But I didn’t understand a fucking word coming out of his mouth  
  
Howdy:

| 

He’s the one that doesn’t tie his own skates right?  
  
Howdy:

| 

Gets the trainers to do it for him or something???  
  
McLeod:

| 

Probably because he’s literal actual fucking hockey royalty 😂  
  
Teeks:

| 

That’s my Patty  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I quite liked him  
  
Brinks:

| 

“Your” Patty???  
  
Teeks:

| 

I WANT HIM TO BE  
  
| 

Later that week  
  
Teeks:

| 

I MADE HIM SMILE  
  
Stromer:

| 

Who?  
  
Stromer:

| 

The Patrick kid?  
  
McLeod:

| 

Can’t be.  
  
McLeod:

| 

Pretty sure he’s never smiled in his LIFE  
  
Teeks:

| 

I mean…  
  
Teeks:

| 

It wasn’t like a smile smile, but it was like a face twitch like he wanted to smile  
  
Brinks:

| 

Jesus Teeks, you’ve got it seriously bad  
  
Teeks:

| 

@Davo they’re bullying me for thirsting after my ridiculously hot teammate  
  
Teeks:

| 

I KNOW YOU’VE GOT MY BACK HERE  
  
Davo:

| 

Yes.  
  
Davo:

| 

Sorry.  
  
Davo:

| 

Training camp is brutal.  
  
Stromer:

| 

How is big bro getting on????  
  
Davo:

| 

:D Good! Coach put us on the ice together and was amazed at our chemistry and asked us where we’d played together before  
  
Davo:

| 

And we had to be like, “erm, the road…”  
  
McLeod:

| 

Road hockey tourney coming through clutch there  
  
Davo:

| 

But I have no advice on the crushing over hot teammates  
  
Davo:

| 

I honestly don’t think Leo will ever see me that way  
  
Stromer:

| 

Don’t give up hope Davo  
  
Chucky:

| 

Eh. You can do so much better McJe  
  
Davo:

| 

You would say that  
  
Teeks:

| 

Well I have to get Patty to see me that way  
  
Teeks:

| 

I HAVE TO  
  
Teeks:

| 

If he’s straight, how do I fix it?  
  
Brinks:

| 

Jesus TK, there is so much wrong with that sentence  
  
Stromer:

| 

Lets cross that bridge when we come to it  
  
Stromer:

| 

Team lets get Davo a boyfriend is now lets get Teeks a boyfriend  
  
Teeks:

| 

Not any old boyfriend  
  
Teeks:

| 

A specific rocket of a man  
  
Teeks:

| 

A Nolan Patrick boyfriend.  
  
| 

The next week  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’ve changed my mind  
  
Stromer:

| 

???  
  
Teeks:

| 

I don’t want to fuck Patso…  
  
Marns:

| 

????  
  
Teeks:

| 

I want to marry him and have his babies  
  
Matts:

| 

Might be a problem with that TK  
  
Teeks:

| 

I DON’T CARE  
  
Teeks:

| 

He hunts with a bow  
  
Teeks:

| 

He fishes with a motherfucking spear  
  
Teeks:

| 

A literal. Actual. Spear.  
  
Teeks:

| 

😍  
  
Chucky:

| 

Jesus TK could you BE more thirsty?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Ugh, I wish there was some way to ask “So, are you gay, because I am hella into you” without coming out to someone.  
  
Chucky:

| 

Wait, Nol Patrick?  
  
Teeks:

| 

YES  
  
Chucky:

| 

Yeah he’s into dick.  
  
Chucky:

| 

I mean, you didn’t hear it from me obviously  
  
Davo:

| 

How do you even KNOW this crap chucky?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

How do you even know him???  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I didn’t think he existed outside of Canada  
  
Chucky:

| 

My dad knows his uncle, we met at like, some hockey thing  
  
Teeks:

| 

Who the fuck is his uncle?  
  
Chucky:

| 

James Patrick  
  
Stromer:

| 

Wasn’t he the stars ass. Coach who got fired for beating up his gf?  
  
Brinks:

| 

I don’t think they FIRED him  
  
Chucky:

| 

Yeah, it’s the NHL remember  
  
Chucky:

| 

Beating women up is encouraged for us  
  
Chucky:

| 

Obvs Big Walt was all “she probably deserved it” and “ruining a mans career, hussy”  
  
Chucky:

| 

#dadoftheyear  
  
Chucky:

| 

But anyway, Nol Pats is into dick  
  
Chucky:

| 

But he MIGHT be seeing someone  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’m not sure  
  
Teeks:

| 

DON’T TELL ME THIS  
  
Teeks:

| 

Ok, but I can casually ask if he’s single  
  
Teeks:

| 

That’s a thing that teammates do right?  
  
Josty:

| 

Oh for sure  
  
Josty:

| 

Like just ask it in a super straight way  
  
Josty:

| 

You have a girl back home or are you free to slut it up like me?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

You can’t do that with Patty  
  
Hartsy:

| 

He’ll just be like “no.”  
  
Hartsy:

| 

You’ll have to ask him like questions he can’t get out of with one word answers  
  
Josty:

| 

Or ask him questions he CAN answer in one word answers  
  
Josty:

| 

“do you wanna fuck me y/n?”  
  
Teeks:

| 

I don’t think I’m bold enough for that  
  
Teeks:

| 

He is SO FAR OUT OF MY LEAGUE  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m not even sure I can see him he’s that far out of my league  
  
| 

A few days later  
  
Teeks:

| 

UPDATE BOYS  
  
Teeks:

| 

So, we were out with the team and some of the boys were gonna wheel or whatever  
  
Teeks:

| 

So I was super casual and asked if Pats was wanting to pick up some hot chick  
  
Teeks:

| 

He was all “Nope.”  
  
Teeks:

| 

😍  
  
Teeks:

| 

But then I asked if he had a girl back home  
  
Teeks:

| 

And he said “Not really.”  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHAT DOES NOT REALLY MEAN  
  
Stromer:

| 

Oof  
  
Stromer:

| 

Could it be “not really because it’s not a girl?”  
  
Chucky:

| 

“Not really because it’s not a serious thing”  
  
Matts:

| 

“Not really because I’m dating an alien”  
  
Marns:

| 

Really Matts?  
  
Matts:

| 

You never know?  
  
Brinks:

| 

“Not really because I do actually have a girlfriend but I don’t want to say in case I decide to cheat on her at a later date”  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED  
  
Teeks:

| 

Ugh, and his skin is so fucking perfect  
  
Howdy:

| 

How can someone have perfect skin?  
  
Teeks:

| 

@McLeod you guys got the number 1 pick right, Nico??? I know they were close at the draft  
  
McLeod:

| 

Yeah, I’m not up this year though ☹  
  
Teeks:

| 

Seriously?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Buddy you deserve to be up.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Also then you could ask spy like questions for me  
  
McLeod:

| 

So thoughtful TK, thanks  
  
McLeod:

| 

And actually, I’m kinda happy at home in ‘sauga  
  
McLeod:

| 

Probably eating better than most of you :P  
  
Stromer:

| 

Don’t  
  
Stromer:

| 

I can’t stop thinking about how I won’t be able to go back to Erie when I don’t make the roster this year  
  
Brinks:

| 

Babes, you’ll make the roster  
  
Brinks:

| 

Positivity remember?  
  
Stromer:

| 

I’m being realistic Kit  
  
Stromer:

| 

I don’t think I’m making it.  
  
Stromer:

| 

Idon’tevenknowifIWANTtomakeit  
  
Brinks:

| 

?????  
  
Davo:

| 

??????????  
  
Stromer:

| 

I’ll call you  
  
Marns:

| 

Don’t start sharing stuff like that Dyl and then cut us out  
  
Marns:

| 

I’m worried about you now  
  
Stromer:

| 

Just some of the comments in the locker room  
  
Stromer:

| 

There’s only so many times I can hear the F word without wanting to be sick  
  
Teeks:

| 

You don’t like people saying fuck? Buddy you play hockey  
  
Stromer:

| 

😂 not THAT F word TK  
  
Stromer:

| 

The other one  
  
Teeks:

| 

There’s another one?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Oh wait  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’ve worked that out  
  
Teeks:

| 

That’s really fucking shitty  
  
Stromer:

| 

That’s Arizona buddy  
  
| 

A few weeks into the season  
  
Teeks:

| 

I have further Manitoban man rocket news  
  
Marns:

| 

What?  
  
Teeks:

| 

NolPats,  
  
Teeks:

| 

The only one my heart shall ever desire  
  
Teeks:

| 

Firstly, he is refusing to cut his hair and the flow is 🤤  
  
Teeks:

| 

Secondly, he got his housing letter  
  
Teeks:

| 

BOOM  
  
Teeks:

| 

And then I was all casual and all “idk if you’re billeting or what but there’s an apartment free in my building.”  
  
Teeks:

| 

And he was all “cool.”  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????  
  
Howdy:

| 

I mean, it could be, like, cool, I’ll check that out  
  
Howdy:

| 

But equally could be like, cool, thanks but no thanks  
  
Teeks:

| 

Honestly, I think how cryptic he is makes me love him MORE  
  
Teeks:

| 

God he’s such a fucking beast  
  
Davo:

| 

I mean…. He’s just 18 though right?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Shut up Davo  
  
Teeks:

| 

Man.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Rocket.  
  
Teeks:

| 

How is your teammate thirst going?  
  
Davo:

| 

I just need to get over him  
  
Davo:

| 

It’s honestly never going to happen  
  
Davo:

| 

But I don’t even know where to START getting over someone  
  
Marns:

| 

I always just hook up with someone else  
  
Marns:

| 

The only reliable way to get past one dick is with another dick  
  
Matts:

| 

Just find a nice roadie to somewhere no one knows your name and hook up with some rando  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’m pretty sure everyone in the world knows Connor McDavid’s name  
  
Chucky:

| 

But lmk if you wanna hit up gay bars or something  
  
Chucky:

| 

There are some between us 😉 I can take you out and we can have a good “fuck Draisaitl” night  
  
Davo:

| 

You just want an excuse to go out and get hammered and whine about how shitty Leo is though  
  
Chucky:

| 

Might help you get over him? See him through my eyes  
  
Davo:

| 

IDK, I’ll think about it  
  
Davo:

| 

We’ve got a roadie next week, with a couple of nights off in places  
  
Stromer:

| 

Go out and get drunk  
  
Stromer:

| 

You never let yourself relax Con  
  
Davo:

| 

I’ve said I’ll think about it :P  
  
| 

Two weeks later  
  
McLeod:

| 

It’s been quiet in here… welfare check?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Nonexistant. Want to die.  
  
Brinks:

| 

Debating tearing up my housing letter so I can fly down to AZ and rescue Dyl  
  
McLeod:

| 

That bad?  
  
Stromer:

| 

I mean, I’ve been sent down, and the roadrunners aren’t AS bad as the yotes  
  
Chucky:

| 

Isn’t Latta on the roadrunners?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Yeah, we’re actually roommates  
  
Stromer:

| 

He’s deffo one of the nicer guys on the team  
  
Stromer:

| 

But fuck me, the A is BRUTAL  
  
Stromer:

| 

Like, I knew obviously, I fucking knew that it’s a lethal brutal nasty dirty league  
  
Stromer:

| 

But jesus fucking christ this is hard  
  
Chucky:

| 

So, I only know latts as a friend of a friend, but he seems like he’s a good guy  
  
Chucky:

| 

Like, if you needed someone to confide in down there 😊  
  
Stromer:

| 

Mostly I just want to leave  
  
Stromer:

| 

Like, I love hockey  
  
Stromer:

| 

I LOVE hockey  
  
Stromer:

| 

But telling myself that is the only thing getting me out of bed in the mornings.  
  
Brinks:

| 

Can I call you?  
  
Stromer:

| 

On a bus  
  
Stromer:

| 

Fuck buses  
  
Stromer:

| 

So no  
  
Stromer:

| 

But dm me if you want to spare these boys your heart eyes  
  
Teeks:

| 

My welfare is: constantly tortured  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patso moved into my building  
  
Teeks:

| 

We carpool together  
  
Teeks:

| 

And he’s constantly in my apartment just hanging out  
  
Teeks:

| 

And he is So. Fucking. Beautiful  
  
Teeks:

| 

Also he wears VERY SHORT SHORTS when not at work  
  
Teeks:

| 

Also also I think he might have a crush on Jonathan Toews  
  
Marns:

| 

Ew  
  
Marns:

| 

Why would anyone even  
  
Hartsy:

| 

He belongs to Patty  
  
Hartsy:

| 

As in, KANER Patty  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Not your Patty TK  
  
Teeks:

| 

Screenshotted for “your Patty” 😍😍😍😍😍  
  
Hartsy:

| 

But he does wear the same number as Toews  
  
Brinks:

| 

Hold on  
  
Brinks:

| 

Taze says they trained together over the summer cause Patrick is from ‘The Peg’  
  
Brinks:

| 

Quote, “Good kid. Trains hard.”  
  
Brinks:

| 

And then Kaner was all, “That means he drank your smoothies didn’t he?”  
  
Brinks:

| 

And Taze confirmed that Patrick definitely consumed the smoothies  
  
Brinks:

| 

I don’t know if the smoothies are a euphemism  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I’m choosing to believe they are  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHAT IF HIS NOT REALLY DATING SOMEONE IS TOES?  
  
Teeks:

| 

I can’t compete with THAT  
  
McLeod:

| 

Would he refer to someone he was dating as a “good kid” though  
  
Teeks:

| 

I can’t…. I’m asking him about the smoothies  
  
Teeks:

| 

Me: did you drink tazers smoothies  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patso: *pulls like a FACE* yeah. *shrugs* still do sometimes  
  
McLeod:

| 

WHAT KIND OF FACE WAS IT?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Like a completely disgusted face  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHAT IF JONNY TOES TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM??????  
  
Matts:

| 

Is it possible you’re reading a little bit too much into the situation  
  
Teeks:

| 

I told him if he didn’t want to drink the smoothie he didn’t have to drink the smoothie  
  
Teeks:

| 

And he was all “being a pro hockey isn’t about doing what you WANT all the time”  
  
Chucky:

| 

Is it possible he is talking about actual smoothies though  
  
Brinks:

| 

Tazer IS a health food freak  
  
Teeks:

| 

IT’S TOO MUCH. I CAN’T EVEN.  
  
Chucky:

| 

It’s like he turns you into a teenage girl  
  
Teeks:

| 

I frequently feel that way  
  
Teeks:

| 

He asked me to tie his tie for him the other day  
  
Teeks:

| 

I just about fainted  
  
Howdy:

| 

Oooh were you all arms round him getting close and personal  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Fingers brushing against his neck as you tie it?  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT?  
  
Teeks:

| 

I just like, tied it on myself and then loosened it off and gave it to him  
  
Teeks:

| 

I COULD HAVE TOUCHED HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE  
  
Chucky:

| 

Just fucking tell him  
  
Teeks:

| 

Oh sure, that’ll go well  
  
Teeks:

| 

Me: Manrocket, I love you, put your babies in me  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patso: I can’t. Jonathan Toews has me captured as his sex slave  
  
Hartsy:

| 

That’d be romantic, you could rescue him though  
  
Teeks:

| 

Hundo fighting Tazer on our first blackhawks game  
  
Brinks:

| 

Am I allowed to explain at all why beforehand?  
  
Brinks:

| 

Because I have the feeling he might be a bit baffled by you repeatedly punching him in the face and yelling about illegal sex slavery  
  
Teeks:

| 

Don’t warn him  
  
Teeks:

| 

That gives him time to prepare  
  
Chucky:

| 

FFS  
  
| 

A few days later  
  
Teeks:

| 

I got drunk and asked him and he laughed in my face  
  
Stromer:

| 

YOU ASKED HIM OUT?  
  
Teeks:

| 

What? NO!  
  
Teeks:

| 

I asked him if he was Tazer’s sex slave  
  
Teeks:

| 

Which, like, pros, he laughed until he cried  
  
Teeks:

| 

And that is a first time achievement unlocked for me  
  
Teeks:

| 

Making him laugh until he cried  
  
Teeks:

| 

Cons…. He didn’t actually say no  
  
Teeks:

| 

🤷♂️  
  
Teeks:

| 

So I’m back to square one  
  
Brinks:

| 

I don’t think he’s gonna be tazer’s sex slave  
  
Teeks:

| 

But that just brings us back to the alien girlfriend theory  
  
Marns:

| 

Why do you never go for the simple theories TK  
  
Teeks:

| 

Look, I’m just going where the evidence points me  
  
Teeks:

| 

And that’s pointed at alien girlfriend  
  
Marns:

| 

Alien girlfriends aside  
  
Marns:

| 

@Davo are you taking me and Matts out to dinner when we come see you  
  
Davo:

| 

👍  
  
Stromer:

| 

Oh, so you’re actually alive then???  
  
Marns:

| 

Matts and I will take pics as proof of Davo life  
  
Chucky:

| 

How come I don’t get taken out to dinner when I play you eh McJe???  
  
Stromer:

| 

He won’t reply  
  
Chucky:

| 

☹  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’ll weasel it out of him when he comes to see me after the leafs boys 😉  
  
Matts:

| 

What makes you think me and Mouse can’t manage that  
  
Chucky:

| 

🤷♂️  
  
Teeks:

| 

CAN WE IGNORE THE FACT THAT DAVO IS BORING  
  
Teeks:

| 

AND GET BACK TO MY ISSUE  
  
Howdy:

| 

Ffs TK, just, tell him. Or ask him out  
  
Teeks:

| 

He’s too beautiful  
  
Howdy:

| 

Then don’t?  
  
Teeks:

| 

BUT HE’S TOO BEAUTIFUL  
  
Howdy:

| 

🤦♂️  
  
Howdy:

| 

I love you teeks, but you’re a fucking idiot.  
  
Marns:

| 

^ I feel Howdy speaks for us ALL here TK  
  
Marns:

| 

Just ask him out TK  
  
| 

Another few weeks pass  
  
Chucky:

| 

WELFARE CHECK  
  
Howdy:

| 

Being a vet is a lot better than being a rookie?  
  
Howdy:

| 

Welfare is good  
  
Marns:

| 

Matts is still lusting over our beautiful danish goalie  
  
Matts:

| 

We just can’t work out if he’s dating Knight or not?  
  
Matts:

| 

Welfare is frustrated  
  
Marns:

| 

SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED in Matty’s case  
  
Chucky:

| 

Want a visitor? 😉  
  
Matts:

| 

LMAO  
  
Stromer:

| 

Welfare is shit  
  
Stromer:

| 

Wanna go back to Erie  
  
Brinks:

| 

Welfare is missing Dylan  
  
Stromer:

| 

Sorry babes.  
  
Brinks:

| 

How many times, nothing to be sorry for.  
  
Stromer:

| 

Except making your first year in the show shit by being miserable all the time  
  
Brinks:

| 

How. Many. Times. I love you. I want to support you. This is not your fault  
  
McLeod:

| 

You able to come home for the holidays Dyl?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Don’t know yet. I’ll let you know as soon as I do though.  
  
McLeod:

| 

Put my welfare down as also missing Dylan  
  
Matts:

| 

What about your welfare chuck?  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’m good 😊 really good actually  
  
Chucky:

| 

Davo was all good last time I saw him too  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Share what’s making life good Chucky  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I feel we could all use a bit of positivity.  
  
Chucky:

| 

Just, life is good y’know  
  
Chucky:

| 

May have been hooking up with someone and it’s going well  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Like, dating going well?  
  
Chucky:

| 

Like, we’re getting on, and hooking up and it’s sweet, ok?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Do we know who they are?  
  
Chucky:

| 

You know I don’t kiss and tell Hartsy 😉  
  
Hartsy:

| 

🙄  
  
Marns:

| 

That just leaves Josty, Teeks and Davo for welfare check  
  
Matts:

| 

Is Davo still IN the chat?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Technically he hasn’t left us  
  
Stromer:

| 

But he hasn’t spoken in over a month  
  
Josty:

| 

I’m good :D being in the show is awesome. The Avs are ALL SO BEAUTIFUL  
  
Josty:

| 

Seriously, SO BEAUTIFUL  
  
Josty:

| 

And I came out to one of my teammates  
  
Josty:

| 

Who was super supportive  
  
Josty:

| 

I think you know him Matts, Comphy?  
  
Matts:

| 

LMAO he’s so ginger  
  
Josty:

| 

So I’m told 😂  
  
Matts:

| 

But yeah, he’s a good guy.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Sorry, yes welfare is v. good  
  
Teeks:

| 

Having my ass kicked by a sexy SEXY beast at COD  
  
Teeks:

| 

He let me tie his laces the other day  
  
Teeks:

| 

🤤  
  
Howdy:

| 

He still doesn’t tie his own laces??  
  
Teeks:

| 

That’s ACTUALLY a dyslexia thing  
  
Teeks:

| 

Which is also where the tie tying thing comes from  
  
Hartsy:

| 

That seems fair tbh  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Although I didn’t know you had a foot fetish TK  
  
Teeks:

| 

I DON’T HAVE A FOOT FETISH  
  
Teeks:

| 

I have a Patty fetish.  
  
Teeks:

| 

And he happened to let me touch his feet  
  
Teeks:

| 

And/or his legs  
  
Teeks:

| 

Like, any part of him  
  
Teeks:

| 

Plus, sometimes he smiles at me.  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I mean, if he smiles at you, that’s destiny no?  
  
Teeks:

| 

I can tell when you’re being an ass carter hart :P  
  
Teeks:

| 

Now when you gonna get your ass up here and MEET my Manitoban man rocket  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I’m working on it. You know shits different as a goalie  
  
| 

The start of the holidays  
  
Teeks

| 

I am…. A fucking idiot  
  
Stromer:

| 

We knew this TK  
  
Stromer:

| 

But please, bring me joy by sharing your idiocy with me  
  
Teeks:

| 

So, I live in a 2 bed, which is cool because my fam wanted to come stay for a bit over the holidays  
  
Teeks:

| 

B/c we can’t go home whatever.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patty also lives in a 2 bed, which is fortunate, since HIS fam wanted to come stay for a bit  
  
Teeks:

| 

Except his sisters are also coming  
  
Teeks:

| 

So I said he could bunk in with me so they could have his room because he is TOO LARGE to sleep on a couch (which is absolutely what he was gonna do)  
  
Teeks:

| 

And now I am faced with the prospect of sharing a bed with the sexiest man alive  
  
Teeks:

| 

He will be IN MY BED  
  
Stromer:

| 

Ooof  
  
Chucky:

| 

Just seize the opportunity and make your move  
  
Matts:

| 

NO! Do not do this!!  
  
Matts:

| 

Because what if he isn’t into you, and then it’ll be awkward as fuck for the rest of the sharing a bed time  
  
Chucky:

| 

oOoh valid point from Matts, make a move on the LAST night of this happening  
  
Teeks:

| 

It’s gonna be three whole nights  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Tbf, bedsharing is my favourite trope  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Like, if this was fanfic, you’d totally get together from sharing a bed with each other  
  
Josty:

| 

HOW MANY TIMES HARTSY  
  
Josty:

| 

THIS ISN’T FANFIC  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I’m just saying…  
  
| 

A few days later, very early in the morning  
  
Teeks:

| 

Guys…. Is anyone awake???  
  
Teeks:

| 

Please…. I seriously need support right now  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m gonna keep sending messages until one of you wakes up  
  
Brinks:

| 

Fuck, TK, it’s like, 6am  
  
Brinks:

| 

FOR US  
  
Teeks:

| 

I know, but I just woke up and he is WRAPPED AROUND ME  
  
Teeks:

| 

I cannot move because the sexiest man alive has pinned me to my own bed  
  
Teeks:

| 

And I am so fucking turned on I might die  
  
Brinks:

| 

Erm…  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHAT DO I DO?  
  
Brinks:

| 

I DON’T KNOW???? This is NOT my area of expertise  
  
Brinks:

| 

My advice would have been not to get into bed with him in the first place?  
  
Marns:

| 

Ok TK, I’m here  
  
Marns:

| 

And I just poked Matts awake so he can help too  
  
Matts:

| 

Fuck you all  
  
Brinks:

| 

Why are you guys in the same place?  
  
Marns:

| 

Holiday sleepover with my bff5ever?  
  
Brinks:

| 

… of course…  
  
Marns:

| 

You have two options TK  
  
Marns:

| 

Option 1… is try and pry yourself away from him and go jerk off in your bathroom  
  
Teeks:

| 

BUT WHAT IF HE WAKES UP WHILE I’M DOING THAT AND SEES HOW FUCKING TURNED ON I AM?  
  
Marns:

| 

Option 2 is just grinding against him until HE wakes up, also turned on  
  
Teeks:

| 

I CAN’T DO THAT, like, THAT IS NOT CONSENSUAL  
  
Matts:

| 

There’s a third option that Mouse hasn’t considered  
  
Matts:

| 

Shut the fuck up. Go back to sleep. And maybe by regular person waking up time he’ll have moved  
  
Matts:

| 

Or he’ll have woken up and moved away being really fucking awkward about it  
  
Teeks:

| 

I can’t sleep 😭 I. Am. So. Hard.  
  
Marns:

| 

You could try and jerk off without him noticing?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Literally wrapped around me.  
  
Marns:

| 

I am out of ideas.  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m going to go for option lie here being horny as fuck but pretend to be asleep until he actually wakes up  
  
Marns:

| 

TK…. I’m not sure you can be still that long  
  
Teeks:

| 

Willpower buddy. I can do this  
  
| 

2 minutes later  
  
Teeks:

| 

I CANNOT DO THIS  
  
Teeks:

| 

I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THE OTHER OPTIONS WERE  
  
Matts:

| 

Scroll back up you fucking dumbass  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m sorry, how would YOU be coping if you were in bed with Andersen right now???  
  
Matts:

| 

I’d go for the as yet un mentioned option of sucking his dick until he woke up  
  
Brinks:

| 

DO NOT DO THAT  
  
Brinks:

| 

That is LITERAL ACTUAL ASSAULT MATTS  
  
Brinks:

| 

Nobody do that unless the person has consented to it beforehand.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Ok, he seems pretty asleep  
  
Teeks:

| 

Gonna make a break for the bathroom.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Wish me luck…  
  
Marns:

| 

I feel weird like waiting for TK to jerk off…  
  
Brinks:

| 

Ewwwww  
  
Brinks:

| 

Do you HAVE to phrase it like that  
  
Matts:

| 

He’s not wrong though  
  
Matts:

| 

Either TK is quiet because he’s woken Pats up and they’re having a really awkward convo about TK’s boner  
  
Matts:

| 

Or he’s quiet because he’s jacking off as fast as he can  
  
Howdy:

| 

LMAO this has been the MOST entertaining thing to wake up to  
  
Howdy:

| 

@TK you are such a fucking disaster  
  
Teeks:

| 

Fuck off  
  
Teeks:

| 

He didn’t wake up.  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’ve gone to make us both breakfast. Proving myself as #boyfriendmaterial  
  
| 

Two days later  
  
Teeks:

| 

Thank fuck. No more sleeping in the same bed as Patty  
  
Teeks:

| 

And honestly, it feels weird that I’m happy about it  
  
Teeks:

| 

Like, I thought I’d LOVE sharing a bed with him  
  
Teeks:

| 

But it was torture.  
  
Chucky:

| 

You didn’t make your move then?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Dude NO, we have discussed how out of my league he is  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I really thought the bedsharing thing would work  
  
Josty:

| 

Buddy, you read WAY too much fanfic, you realise that yeah?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

THEY ALWAYS GET TOGETHER AFTER BEDSHARING OK?  
  
Teeks:

| 

You realise this is real life and not fanfiction buddy?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Sharing a bed with someone you have a crush on is awkward AF  
  
Teeks:

| 

God, he’s so beautiful though  
  
Teeks:

| 

Like, OVERWHELMINGLY BEAUTIFUL  
  
| 

New Years  
  
Hartsy:

| 

HAPPY NEW YEARS BOYS  
  
Marns:

| 

LMAO when the rest of us get there!  
  
Teeks:

| 

No game tonight, so we’ve got like a team party at G’s house  
  
McLeod:

| 

Hows your boy?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Looking gorgeous. And unattainable.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Keep telling the coaches to bring us up our newest goalie so I can have a wingman  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I WOULD WINGMAN YOU SO HARD :D  
  
McLeod:

| 

Hartsy’s been drinking, it’s adorable  
  
Hartsy:

| 

LMAO, and you haven’t?  
  
McLeod:

| 

I’ve only had one or two  
  
McLeod:

| 

I’m keeping an eye on your team Dylan  
  
Stromer:

| 

😍😍😍😍😍  
  
Howdy:

| 

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HARTSYS EPIC CRUSH  
  
Hartsy:

| 

We do NOT  
  
Howdy:

| 

Harty’s fallen in love with one of the rookies and is just STARING at him  
  
Hartsy:

| 

He’s beautiful  
  
Chucky:

| 

HOOK UP WITH HIM  
  
Chucky:

| 

Literally what WJ is for  
  
Chucky:

| 

(also say hi to Brades if you see him)  
  
McLeod:

| 

We have tried to convince Hartsy that he needs to hook up with his salad boy  
  
Chucky:

| 

Salad boy?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

His name is Cale 😍😍😍  
  
McLeod:

| 

But Hartsy is apparently just going to stare at him and make awkward conversation  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m not sure I’m doing much better than staring and making awkward conversation  
  
Teeks:

| 

And this is someone I see on a daily basis  
  
Hartsy:

| 

YOU DIDN’T KISS HIM AT NEW YEARS?!?!?!  
  
Teeks:

| 

Erm, no.  
  
Teeks:

| 

It was really fucking awkward because all the olds were kissing their wags  
  
Teeks:

| 

So Pats and I just like, went and hid somewhere because it was awkward  
  
Hartsy:

| 

YOU SHOULD HAVE KISSED HIM  
  
Howdy:

| 

Take your OWN advice Hartsy, go kiss the salady one  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Noooooooooo he’s too beautiful  
  
Teeks:

| 

Now there is someone else who feels my pain  
  
| 

Two hours later  
  
Chucky:

| 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘  
  
Brinks:

| 

Happy new year!!!!  
  
Brinks:

| 

Chucky just stuck his tongue in my ear  
  
Brinks:

| 

Because and I quote, he isn’t going to take my new years kiss away from Dylan  
  
Chucky:

| 

I WANTED TO SHOW YOU SOME LOVE ANYWAY BRINKSY  
  
Chucky:

| 

TEAM USA NEW YEARS PARTAAAAAAAYYYYY  
  
Josty:

| 

HAPPY NEW YEAR  
  
Josty:

| 

Apparently on new years in Colorado you have to kiss EVERYONE on the team  
  
Josty:

| 

Not sure if I was just rookie hazed or not  
  
Josty:

| 

But I got to make out with some fucking hot teammates so 🤷♂️  
  
| 

One hour later  
  
Marns:

| 

HAPPY NEW YEAR BABIIIIIIIIES  
  
Matts:

| 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Stromer:

| 

HAPPY NEW YEAR :D :D :D :D  
  
Stromer:

| 

WOOOOOO 2018  
  
Stromer:

| 

PLEASE be better than 2017  
  
Stromer:

| 

I’m probably a lot more sober than Mitch and Matts are managing  
  
Marns:

| 

DYLAN MY DLYAN WHERE ARE YOU? I WANT DYLAN CUDDLES  
  
Stromer:

| 

Ontario…. The California one not the real one  
  
Marns:

| 

BOOOOO YOU WHORE  
  
Marns:

| 

COME BE IN VEGAS WITH ME AND MATTY  
  
Stromer:

| 

Love you mitchy :P  
  
Chucky:

| 

WE SHOULD DO TOASTS  
  
Chucky:

| 

TO 2018  
  
Stromer:

| 

To it being better than 2017  
  
Brinks:

| 

To boyfriends 😉  
  
Marns:

| 

TO CUDDLES  
  
Hartsy:

| 

To boys too beautiful for us to even cope  
  
Josty:

| 

To FUCKING HOT TEAMMATES  
  
McLeod:

| 

To TK getting his man, and Hartsy getting his, and Dylan getting a better team  
  
Matts:

| 

To friendship ❤💙  
  
Howdy:

| 

TO THIS FUCKING GROUP CHAT  
  
Stromer:

| 

TO THE GROUP CHAT :D :D :D :D :D :D  
  
| 

The next morning  
  
Teeks:

| 

Can I propose a belated toast  
  
Teeks:

| 

To the fact that I am apparently, a fucking idiot  
  
Stromer:

| 

I mean, we know that, but what idiotic thing have you done now?  
  
Teeks:

| 

PATTY KISSED ME  
  
Teeks:

| 

I mean, he called me a fucking idiot first  
  
Teeks:

| 

AND THEN HE KISSED ME  
  
Teeks:

| 

😍😍😍😍  
  
McLeod:

| 

!?!?!?!?!  
  
Teeks:

| 

Apparently he’s been flirting with me since he got here  
  
Teeks:

| 

And I didn’t notice which #awks  
  
Stromer:

| 

SO YOU GUYS ARE A THING?!?!?!  
  
Stromer:

| 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!  
  
Teeks:

| 

We are. Hence why I went a bit quiet last night  
  
Teeks:

| 

Was busy 😉  
  
Howdy:

| 

GET SOME TK  
  
Marns:

| 

I need deets, tell us how it HAPPENED  
  
Teeks:

| 

Ugh, so like, we got back to our apartment block, but he just followed me into my apt instead of going back to his  
  
Teeks:

| 

I was all “dude, what are you doing?”  
  
Teeks:

| 

And he called me a fucking idiot  
  
Teeks:

| 

Grabbed me by my shirt and just fucking kissed me  
  
Marns:

| 

OMG what did you DO?  
  
Teeks:

| 

??  
  
Teeks:

| 

I kissed him back. What the fuck else would I do?  
  
Marns:

| 

So are you guys dating now or what?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Yeah, we talked about it this morning  
  
Teeks:

| 

He’s totes my man 😉  
  
Marns:

| 

Was he everything you’d hoped he would be???  
  
Teeks:

| 

Everything I’d hoped for and more  
  
Teeks:

| 

No other man will EVER live up to that  
  
Chucky:

| 

😂😂😂😂  
  
Chucky:

| 

Congrats to you both, also say hi to him from me :D  
  
Teeks:

| 

Now I just need advice on how to hide a relationship from our teammates when I feel like I have literal actual hearts coming out of my eyes  
  
Brinksy:

| 

Honestly?  
  
Brinksy:

| 

Lean in to it  
  
Teeks:

| 

What?  
  
Stromer:

| 

OWN IT  
  
Stromer:

| 

Bonus points if you call each other wifey  
  
Brinksy:

| 

Whenever you go out just the two of you, make sure to mention that it’s “date night”  
  
Brinksy:

| 

“Dude, I can’t pull, I’m sat next to my wife”  
  
Matts:

| 

Look, I realise we are all hockey players  
  
Matts:

| 

But hockey players are really dumb  
  
Marns:

| 

And STRAIGHT BOYS are really dumb  
  
Chucky:

| 

Honestly, with the straight hockey players, it’s amazing that they can walk and chew gum at the same time  
  
Matts:

| 

Not all of them can….  
  
Teeks:

| 

For real though?  
  
Brinksy:

| 

I mean it. Play up the old married couple thing  
  
Stromer:

| 

BROMANCE  
  
Stromer:

| 

Hiding in plain sight, is the best BEST way of hiding it  
  
Brinksy:

| 

And obviously no ACTUAL pda’s  
  
Stromer:

| 

☹  
  
Teeks:

| 

☹ ☹  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patty says he wouldn’t PDA me anyway  
  
Chucky:

| 

Chirps also help  
  
Teeks:

| 

Got it, chirp the wifey  
  
Teeks:

| 

Oops. He says I’m the wifey  
  
Teeks:

| 

:D  
  
Chucky:

| 

2k18, the year TK got wifeyed :D  
  
Stromer:

| 

Wifefied?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Wifification  
  
Stromer:

| 

:D  
  
**Author's Note:**

> I am sad to say, there won't be a current update for the group chat this week, due to the current events that the hockeys would all be talking about being.... golf.... and the authors abiding hatred for golf...  
> Tune in again when they start talking about more interesting stuff :D


End file.
